


me, my selfie, and i

by perforatedsanity (flawed_karma), starksnack



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Awesome Pepper Potts, BAMF Steve Rogers, Digital Art, M/M, News Media, Social Media, Steve "Fight Me" Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28510245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flawed_karma/pseuds/perforatedsanity, https://archiveofourown.org/users/starksnack/pseuds/starksnack
Summary: 5 Times Steve Shocked the World + 1 Time Tony Helped
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 11
Kudos: 145
Collections: 2020 Captain America/Iron Man Holiday Exchange





	me, my selfie, and i

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cap Iron Man Community](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cap+Iron+Man+Community).



> for the prompt - steve keeps shocking the world/media

**1\. Steve Versus The Media**

Steve hated interviews and puff pieces but as an Avenger, he was required to attend them on a regular basis. After a battle with a rather angry sentient and giant octopus that had taken out some of the Financial District’s historic buildings, Pepper had decided that each Avenger would sit down for a magazine interview. So far the questions were all banal and superficial. They followed variations of every other presser and interview he’d ever had. The questions and answers always followed a template. He could be doing this in his sleep. 

Q: Was it strange how much the world changed in seventy years?

A: Yes. Technology, vaccines, the internet, space exploration, the Moon Landing. These were things no one dreamed of in my day, except for the guys who wrote for pulp magazines and dime novels. 

Q: How do you feel about modern bananas? 

A: He didn’t have much of an opinion on them. Bananas had been a “rich person's food” and he couldn’t remember if he ever tasted one before the serum and after the serum he hadn’t paid much attention. 

Q: What is it like being a modern Republican these days, standing for truth, freedom, and American Exceptionalism? 

At this point, dear readers, Captain Rogers leaned towards me, the polite boredom leaving his face, his expression suddenly animated.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. Can you repeat that, please?”

“I asked, Captain Rogers, how it feels to be a modern Republican these days, given how much the party changed from your time, when you’d have been a Democrat.” Captain Rogers’ eyes lit with a passion rarely seen, I expected a juicy answer from him, his idolization of shared ideals, poetry and perfection, the words of a True Patriot, as we all know he is. What he said next absolutely shocked me! 

“Ma’am, with all due respect, I was never a Democrat or Republican. In fact, I was a card-carrying member of the Socialist Party. I advocated for strikes, I supported Unions before they became a popular ideal in this country. And it makes me _absolutely sick_ to see my pre-serum life erased and rewritten to fit the ideology of a racist, classist, ableist, bordering on fascist party. I’d never support them, not if _my very life depended on it.”_

Our interview continued, gentle readers, and he ranted- Yes! Full-on ranted! About how he’d been small, thin, delicate and an artist. He grew up with a single mother in a world where being Irish was judged as a moral failing as the Protestant majority looked upon Catholics as idol worshipping hedonists! He continued to rail about a society with no social safety nets, people left to starve and die in the streets, wages below subsistence levels and more. It was quite shocking and most upsetting. 

This reporter will _never_ interview that man again. He is an affront to American Values! 

***

Pepper read the interview and laughed so hard she sent Steve a fruit basket the day after it was published. She even had the cover framed. It was a picture of Captain America desecrating an American Flag, crudely drawn. The title of the piece stood out in bright red, second coming headline. CAPTAIN AMERICA: AMERICAN DISGRACE

She kept it in her office, hung across from her desk. It meant she had to move the Monet, but it was a sacrifice worth making. 

* * *

**2\. Steve on the LGBTQ Community**

Another successful mission, another press conference. The mission had been discussed by Tony and Natasha. Now the floor had opened up for other questions. 

A young woman with bright purple hair and a silver stud in her nose waved frantically and Steve pointed to her. “Yes, the person with the purple hair. I’m sorry, I don’t know your pronouns and didn’t want to misgender by saying young lady or young man if you didn’t identify that way.” 

The room fell into a shocked silence. Tony leaned back and grinned. Natasha smiled without smiling. Clint reclined in his seat and kicked his boots up on the table. Bruce sighed and nervously polished his lenses in anticipation of having to make a quick exit so the Other Guy didn’t make a surprise appearance.

Steve looked out at the silent reporters, some of whom looked shocked. One or two had their mouths hanging open. Fox News was saying something terrible about him and he ignored it. The person he was speaking to simply beamed at him. 

“I identify as non-binary and prefer they/them. My name is Dax and I’m from the Village Voice.” 

“It’s nice to meet you, Dax,” Steve said. He offered a smile. “What’s your question for me?” 

They cleared their throat. “What do you think of the LGBTQ community today? I was going to ask if you were shocked by the visibility and recent court decisions to grant us _some_ basic human rights, but I’m going to scratch that since you know about pronouns.” 

Steve huffed out a laugh and leaned in closer to the mic. “Why is everyone so surprised I understand the struggles of a minority group so well,” he mock- complained, shooting Dax a wink. “I grew up poor, in a historically queer neighborhood. I was small, slender, and an artist. In my day, being a guy and being an artist was a one- way ticket to Queersville in the court of public opinion. Luckily, I didn’t mind if it kept me from having to walk so much, what with my asthma and many ailments and health problems. 

“We had to hide everything. It was dangerous. Just a suspicion that you were queer— I hope that’s not offensive. We all identified as queer then, we didn’t have different words for all the different sexualities and interests like there are today. I hope you’ll all bear with me as I learn and catch up with the new terminology. Anyway, I’m all for today’s visibility. It used to be illegal. You were just as likely to die by a cop as you were by a vigilante and no one would speak up in case they were next. It was a terrifying time to be alive. It was isolating and horrible. To see kids out there today, to read your stories and see your joy? It’s beyond anything we could have dreamed of or thought to wish for in our wildest dreams.” 

Dax looked stunned and it was so quiet (except for Fox news’s faux outrage) that a pin would have been heard if it was dropped. “Excuse me, Captain Rogers? Did you just come out?” 

Steve stroked his chin and looked contemplative. “Huh. I guess so. I identified as queer back then because we didn’t have all the words and terminology to describe ourselves. But if I got it right, I identify as a bisexual man. And I want to add, to the kids in terrible situations, to the kids with a horrible home life, the kids whose existence is hellish right now, I see you. I know your struggle. I was you then, I am you now. Your feelings are valid and I love each and every one of you. 

“On those dark nights, when you’re alone. And the whole world feels like it’s against you and you don’t believe in yourself anymore, it’s okay.” Steve’s eyes were shining, his voice soft. “It’s okay. I believe enough in you for both of us. Let that carry you along until you can believe in yourself again. You’re not broken. You’re not wrong. You’re not an abomination, you’re not sinful. You are beautiful. You are perfect. You are loved. And you’re so desperately needed.”

A respectful silence held for almost a whole minute before the room erupted in chaos, reporters shouting over each other to be heard, follow up questions were coming from all directions. Natasha’s smile turned real and she simply held her hand out. Tony and Clint handed her money and she tucked it away in her uniform, but no one knew where it would fit. No pockets. 

Steve leaned back, smiling a bright smile and enjoying the furor he’d caused. That was the picture seen ‘round the world under various headlines about his coming out and support for the LGBTQ community. 

***

Of course, Pepper purchased an original copy and had it tastefully matted and framed with some of her favorite headlines. It joined the cover of the magazine across from her desk. They made a lovely pair. 

* * *

**3\. Steve vs the Twitter Trolls**

“Pepper, why can’t I get into my Twitter account?

“Twitter banned you, Steve. Your frequent tweets at the President and his followers have been deemed abusive. You’ve been suspended for thirty days.” 

“Alright. But why is everyone saying people are leaving Twitter and their stock is crashing? And they’re blaming me.”

Steve could hear Pepper’s sigh over the line. And he imagined she was pinching the bridge of her nose to stave off a headache. 

“Steve. People are boycotting Twitter until you’re reinstated. They feel if the president is allowed to insult and belittle people then you should be allowed to insult and belittle him.” 

“Huh. I didn’t think anyone noticed.” 

“You have celebrities boycotting Twitter and asking their followers to boycott on your behalf. I’m going to have to schedule a press conference and get the PR department involved-“

“Pepper, no. It’s not a fair platform if people in power are free to say anything they want without repercussion, and their followers are allowed to do the same, but people who oppose them are silenced. If there’s a press conference, that’s exactly what I’m going to say. I guess it’s time to use my Instagram account until I’m allowed back on Twitter.” 

Another sigh came over the line. At least Pepper sounded fond this time. 

“Okay, Steve. I’ll get an official account set up for you so you get your verified check-mark. Have fun playing with the trolls.”

“Thanks, Pepper. You’re the best.” 

“You’re welcome, Steve.” 

* * *

**4\. Selfies, Thirst Traps and the Great Instagram Crash of ‘20**

Steve hated being away from Tony. The mission had run long, he was exhausted, filthy and grimy. He’d snapped the picture of himself in the shower and sent it via DM since he’d been scrolling through Instagram right before the shower. He’d washed up and dried off before crawling into bed. When he woke up and glanced at his phone he realized he had thousands- no. _Hundreds of thousands_ of comments and likes on his most recent post. Considering the last thing he posted had been a slice of pizza, he found it odd and ignored it. 

The phone rang with a familiar tone and he answered it, Tony’s face filling the screen. Steve smiled, sleepy and adoring. “Hey, sweetheart. I’ll be home tonight. Did you get my picture?” 

Tony was trying not to smile. “Yeah, baby. I did. And so did all of your followers, the media, and pretty much everyone on planet Earth. On the plus side, it was only shown for ten minutes before Instagram’s platform crashed. It’s not back up yet. Plenty of people saw it though. And commented. I’m sure it was saved by everyone—“

“Tony, stop! Oh my God. This is terrible. I meant to send it just to you!” 

“Don’t worry so much, Steve. It’s not showing anything besides your abs and a suggestion of more. You’ve had more revealing paparazzi pictures taken when you were running in the park.” 

“I can never show my face in public again. I’m so glad I didn’t try and send you the picture I took of my ass.”

Tony’s expression switched from amused sympathy to genuine interest, his eyes going sharp and bright. “Yeah? You wanna show me now? Just send it in a text message here.” And he was back to being amused. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve grumbled, finding a little humor in it. “I’ll send it when we hang up. Unless you want to see it in real time…”

“Oh, Mon Capitaine. That sounds so much better.” 

***

Instagram was back up a whole twenty-four hours after the site had initially gone down. By then Jarvis had removed the picture. The AI tried to remove it from the web whenever it popped up but there were just too many postings for him to manage. 

That’s when he decided to start monitoring the good Captain’s social media accounts the way he monitored Sir’s.

* * *

**5\. Steve versus the Republicans**

_The following is a transcript of the speech Steve Rogers delivered at the RNC_

“Thank you for inviting me to speak at the Republican National Convention, in the prime slot of nine at night on Friday. This slot is usually reserved for the party faithful, or a family member of the person being nominated to run for president. This is a great honor and I hope my words will do it justice.” 

“First, I’d like to clear up a few things that have been attributed to me. I’ve never said that I’m outraged at the LGBT community, I’m outraged that you’d discriminate against any citizen based on the fact they love someone, regardless of gender. When I was a kid, people like them, like me, had to live in fear of being found out. If some random men didn’t kill us, then the police would and no one cares. So yes, I am outraged and disgusted that you’d use my image to promote your hatred. You’ll be hearing from my lawyer about it. I own my image. You don’t.”

“I do stand for America, the America I believe she can be, not the America she is. I believe in the people, in change, in moving forward. I believe in shedding our colonizing ways, in reparations to those we’ve harmed, starting with the indigenous eoples and then moving on to those of African descent. I believe in immigrants, since I was the son of immigrants. I believe in healthcare as a human right, in social safety nets, in vaccines. I believe we have a greater obligation to our impoverished citizens and the middle class than we do billionaires. 

“And Tony agrees with me, right sweetheart?” 

_Note: At this point in the speech, the stage lights are cut._

“The Republican Party must not be allowed to retain power. They are pushing this country back into the, and I quote, good old days. The days where nothing was good for anyone except for men who were white and Christian. A woman’s right to bodily autonomy has been attacked and rolled back to pre Roe v Wade levels in many states. Social safety nets have been slashed in favor for more implements of war from companies owned by the largest party donors. Educational funds have been gutted, leading to a trend of ignorance that’s been embraced and exploited by this party, whose own nominee has been heard saying, on camera, that he loves the poorly educated.” 

_Note: The microphone is cut off. Captain Rogers continues to speak._

“America can and will be better but only if we vote these assholes out of office and embrace the changes we need to in order to succeed once again as a democracy and as a global power!” 

_Note: Sounds of a scuffle, some swearing and then silence fell as Captain Rogers was escorted off stage._

* * *

**+1 Steve and Tony Break the Internet**

  



End file.
